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BENTONVILLE, Ark. — A National Guard soldier tried to repeatedly claim that she was in the Army last night, according to a number of witnesses at Creekside Grille, sources confirmed today. Mary Deerhorn, a lieutenant colonel attached to Arkansas’s 153rd Infantry regiment, mentioned her part-time military service after complimenting waiter Don Simmons’ “MY BROTHER’S KEEPER” […]
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MAYADEEN, Syria — ISIS recruit Abdul Mourad stuffed a live goat into an amnesty box early yesterday morning, sources familiar with the incident say. The young goat could be heard baying by men who slept in sweaty tents near the desert in Eastern Syria. “Good lord, someone’s going to town on that thing,” someone murmured, […]
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THE PENTAGON – The Department of Defense has announced that in the future, all strategic analysis will be outsourced to private corporations. The defense contractor Booz Allen Hamilton is expected to replace the tens of thousands of “strategists” across the Department of Defense with a much smaller number of consultants, sources confirmed today. Defense Secretary […]
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