April 2012

Marine Cook Awarded Navy Cross For ‘Best Instant Eggs The Colonel Has Ever Eaten’

CAMP MUJUK, KOREA – Some Marines get awarded medals for distinguished service on the battlefield, but one young PFC has been given a Navy Cross for an achievement closer to home. PFC Esteban Rodriguez, a Food Service Specialist with 3rd Combat Logistics Battalion, received the award at the close of Operation Freedom Banner in Korea [...]

Continue Reading →

Military Can’t Figure Out What The Hell To Do With MRAPs, Re-Invades Iraq

by SGT B

Camp Arifjan, Kuwait – Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta recently paid a visit to Kuwait to view the large stock of Mine Resistance Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles leftover from the drawdown in Iraq. The Department of Defense purchased over 200,000 MRAPs in response to the threat of roadside bombs during Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation [...]

Continue Reading →

Navy: Strip Clubs And Bars To Be Installed Aboard Aircraft Carriers

by Pte Bloggins

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Pentagon announced today that the Navy will be installing strip clubs and bars aboard all aircraft carriers. The unusual move comes at a time when budget cuts loom and the public has questioned the need for extravagant military spending. Commander Ethan Granger, a Navy spokesman, explains: “The time has come for [...]

Continue Reading →

CENTCOM Commander, ‘Mad Dog’ General James Mattis Set To Retire

by Dark Laughter

TAMPA, FL – Today the United States Central Command (CENTCOM) announced the resignation of its top commander, General James N. Mattis, who plans to retire from the Marine Corps in a matter of months. Mattis is best known for commanding the 1st Marine Division during the opening phases of Operation Iraqi Freedom, but has also been criticized [...]

Continue Reading →

Marines To Deploy On Revolutionary New Aqua-FOBs

by G-Had

CAMP HANSEN, OKINAWA - After more than a decade of war, the Marine Corps is beginning a new mission oriented towards the Pacific Ocean. But in keeping with its traditions as a desert-deployed force, Marines will be bringing their beloved-Forward Operating Bases (or FOBs) with them, and the key to this new mission is the Aqua-FOB. “We’ve [...]

Continue Reading →

Army Cav Platoon To Star In Reality Show On ABC

by John "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" Mittle

Saint Louis, MO – The Army Public Affairs office released details today about the platoon at the center of “Army Lives”, an upcoming prime time reality show to debut on ABC. In the release, PAO stated that they are a platoon of Cavalry Scouts, but wouldn’t share details of the unit or location — to [...]

Continue Reading →

Air Force Starts Using Highly Effective ‘Glitter Bomb’ Against Taliban

by SGT B

BAGRAM AIRFIELD, AFGHANISTAN – The Air Force has released information regarding a new weapon in their arsenal: The MX784 Irritant Dispersant, or “Glitter Bomb” as it is known in the service, has arrived on the scene in Afghanistan to the applause of many troops. Colonel Stanley Roberts, a representative for the Air Force, explained what [...]

Continue Reading →

National Guard Unit Takes Wrong Turn, Invades Iraq

by SGT B

KHUBARI CROSSING, KUWAIT - What should have been a routine mission almost ended with an international incident for 1st Brigade, 34th Infantry Division, a National Guard unit from Minnesota. Deployed to Kuwait for the past ten months, the unit assisted in the drawdown of Iraq and has been in part of the Middle East Area Reaction Force, [...]

Continue Reading →

← Previous Entries