Army Cav Platoon To Star In Reality Show On ABC

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ST. LOUIS, MO — The Army Public Affairs office released details today about the platoon at the center of “Army Lives,” an upcoming prime time reality show to debut on ABC.

In the release, PAO stated that they are a platoon of Cavalry Scouts, but wouldn’t share details of the unit or location — to avoid unwanted attention during filming.

TDB Correspondent John “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” Mittle was granted access to the soldiers, and talked with them about their thoughts.

“This show is going to be a hit, and I’m going to be on TV!” said Private Edgar Thomas, as he picked grass out of the cracks of the motor pool parking area.

In the parking lot, supervising and administering ‘corrective training’ to Thomas, was Sergeant Ethan Smith.

“Who wouldn’t want to watch the daily life of a Cav Scout? Hell, I hope they get a good shot of me sending rounds down the firing range with my .50 cal. Chicks dig that shit, right? I’m gonna get so much ass.”

The show’s producers say it will be a mixture of ‘The Real World’, ‘Army Wives’, and ‘Flavor of Love’.



“Most of the public has no idea of the hardships our servicemen go through, and we intend to bring some light to the situation,” said Producer Antonio Mora. “We’ll show you what it’s really like and who these men are — the Specialist getting busted down for showing up to PT drunk, the old, angry Sergeant First Class that hates everyone and everything, and the loving, caring Platoon Leader, filling out stacks of paperwork 95% of the time and then leading his men through turbulent times the other 5%.”

The platoon leader believes it will be a great experience for the men, the Army, and for himself. Wearing his Stetson, silver spurs, saber, and mirrored aviator glasses, 2nd Lt. Alan Johnson spoke candidly about the show:

“The Navy had Top Gun in the eighties. The Marines have Jarhead. The Air Force — I guess they can claim Office Space,” referencing popular films of the past. “Now we have ‘Army Lives’. Just think about how my resume will look when I get out.”

Sources within the Department of Defense say that the reality show will premiere this fall, and was designed with recruiting goals in mind. Early test audiences made up of only civilians have been highly receptive.

John "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" Mittle

John Mittle is a former Army Medic with seven years experience. John's favorite APFT event is the thousand yard stare, and has a keen interest in attempting to draw the world's first perfect freehand circle. John often enjoys sitting on the back porch with his favorite drink the "Salty Dog" (double shot), listening to Scottish Bagpipes, while reading Duffel Blog articles.