CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – A Lance Corporal in the Second Marine Regiment is facing charges of disorderly conduct after “stealing” the wife of his battalion commander.
Lance Corporal Michael Gavrilovic, an infantry rifleman with 1st Battalion, 2nd Marines, will appear before a court-martial on the charges that he convinced Ms. Ellen Granger to file for divorce against her husband and remarry him.
Ms. Granger is the wife of Lieutentant Colonel Ron Granger, the commander of 1st Battalion 2nd Marines, and Lance Corporal Gavrilovic’s commanding officer.
Lance Corporal Gavrilovic announced through his lawyer that he had received written notification stating that he was in violation of Articles 91 and 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Article 91 is insubordinate conduct towards an officer and 134 is a general article that addresses issues of good order and discipline.
According to Lance Corporal Gavrilovic, he met Ms. Granger at Dirty Deeds, a popular bar in Jacksonville, just outside Camp Lejeune. According to Gavrilovic, she was there to hook up with a Gunnery Sergeant or “some horny 2nd Lieutenant.”
Instead, she fell for him after glimpsing the motorcycle he’s still paying off on top of the alimony from his first marriage.
“What can I say,” Ms. Granger told reporters. “He was just so self-confident. Ron’s always at the office, and all he ever does is worry: ‘Are my Marines well-trained enough? How many are we going to lose in Afghanistan? Blah blah blah…’ All Mike cares about is having a good time and working the system.”
According to the Public Affairs Office at Camp Lejeune, Lance Corporal Gavrilovic has actually been pending administrative separation for the past two months. The Marine Corps decided to separate him after he had received three non-judicial punishments for selling his issued gear at a nearby pawn shop, theft of an unknown number of MRE boxes, and general malingering.
Lieutenant Colonel Granger announced he would not contest the divorce, but demanded to know what had happened to his ceremonial sword, which he claimed he’d spotted on eBay. He also announced his intention to seek sole custody of their two teenagers, Tyson and Christina.
The teenagers had mixed thoughts on their new father.
“Mike’s definitely going to be a cool Dad,” said Tyson. “Even though he’s only five years older than me, he’s already helped me make two fake ID’s and shown me where all the bars with lax carding are.”
Christina was more reserved: “Mike’s always coming by my room, asking if I need help with my homework, but he kind of hugs me a lot and I’m pretty sure I’ve caught him in my underwear drawer.”
Lance Corporal Gavrilovic was extremely optimistic that he would beat any charges.
“People like me show there’s hope for the little guy.”
He then asked reporters if they were interested in buying a box of night-vision goggles he claimed he’d found in a dumpster.