Senior Officer More Concerned With Grooming Standard Than OPSEC Tony June 16, 2012 Air Force 17 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: Bagram Air Field, Afghanistan – When Senior Airman Jed Thaner witnessed a potential Operational Security (OPSEC) violation, he knew immediately to alert his chain of command. “We’ve always been trained that if you see something, say something.” Early yesterday morning, SrA Thaner woke before sunrise for some PT prior to his analyst day shift at the Tactical Operations Center. Rounding the corner to start his jog, he saw an unidentified third-country national (TCN) rummaging through the trash near the center — a common tactic insurgents use to gain inside information. Thaner then chased the man off and headed for the TOC to report what had happened. He approached his commanding officer, eager to tell him about the security violation that he had just witnessed. But Lieutenant Colonel Marcus Nimbus had bigger fish to fry. “When’s the last time you shaved, Airman?” Lt Col Nimbus asked, as SrA Thaner stood tall before him. The officer then dressed down Thaner’s lack of appearance in accordance with regulations. “He was showing five o’ clock shadow and that’s just unacceptable. For Godsakes, he was so nasty, I almost mistook him for Army! You let that kind of thing slide, next thing you know, Air Force loses its reputation!” Thaner was upset that he wasn’t able to get a word in. “I don’t know how to plead with a Colonel, but I want someone to teach me how,” Thaner said, after being reprimanded and heading to the latrine for a mandatory shave. It was later learned that the potential foreign intelligence agent was really a third country national in charge of cleaning around the trailers, where Thaner’s unit is currently staying. “They’re also known for dumpster diving.” said Technical Sergeant Tayna Grainer, the senior analyst on Thaner’s shift. The TCN, identified only as Mutassa, explained that he just “wanted to score a Playboy. He hadn’t realized the military’s rules on pornography were close to that of any sharia-minded judge. The Air Force had dodged a bullet, but SrA Thaner remains unconvinced. “I’m not even sure what I’d have to do to convince someone if something really did go wrong. I don’t want to know.” he confided. With that Thaner said he’d had enough adventure outside work for one day and decided to retire to his hooch until his shift to meditate. No word on whether “meditating” was actually the new Air Force euphenism for rubbing one out or whether that was more important than OPSEC. Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/2UGsn Kirk Ess says: November 18, 2014 at 9:43 PM This isn’t satire…this is why we have lost every war we have ever been in since 1945. Bill Bonzer says: May 24, 2014 at 8:55 PM Lol in my 2nd enlistment I was a Counter Intelligence Agent, and I had 1st SGT tell a soldier to get showered, shaved, and in the uniform of the day before he spoke to me. Mike Guilmette says: April 11, 2014 at 4:54 PM Oh come on! Any airman who has reached SrA knows appearance and grooming standards trump all else. Dominik Röhrs says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM OPSEC is way overrated anyhow. Dennis Chevy Chevalier says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM OMG Tom Ferstl says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM Maybe Lt Col Nimbus can get his ass out her to Fort Hood and get Major Nada Hasanl to shave for his General Court Martial for killing 13 troops on Ft Hood? Jason D Sousley says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM Meditating eight or nine times a day keeps some officers and senior ncos from being fragged by lower enlisted who get reprimanded for ultimate violations such as hands in the pockets! Taylor Crowe says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM what’s sad is I can see this happening…some AF leaders are so deeply rooted in the garrison mindset that they care more about regulations and “looking good” than they do about getting anything done. Mike Harris says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM Police that moooostach!!!! Chase Roush says: February 7, 2014 at 4:40 PM And this is why after, 8 years, 3 months, and 12 days, I don’t miss the USAF at all. Gomer says: August 27, 2012 at 10:52 PM E6’s do it too. Once had a SSG order me to shave my moustache because it wasn’t “reg”. He got quite sore when I pulled out a thumb drive with the appropiate AR on it, and asked him to explain, for my education and benefit, HOW it was not in regulation. Even my asshole CO that got relived of command for BEING an asshole (hard think in the army) didn’t give a fuck when he tried to bitch about it. CPT 2003 says: August 28, 2012 at 11:00 AM Hey, stop talking about me – I thought all that stuff about “hey Sir – you are an instant asshole, add bars and stir” was made up – and all this time I thought I was cool and had the pulse of the Company – allrighty then, I’m going to hash it out with my 1SG and let her figure out the morale issues . . . Just sayin . . . Tom says: August 23, 2012 at 7:40 PM I’ve yet to meet an Air Force Lt Col that cared about enforcing grooming standards. E7 through E9, definitely! Shadow Barker says: July 20, 2012 at 12:09 PM I was given a 2 hour briefing on opsec, then told to go put out the giant Maj Gen park here sign. Mean while my Ssgt wonders why i show a general lack of enthusiasm for tradition. Paul says: July 20, 2012 at 2:46 PM I can see your non-shave from here. Pits and Shagrins says: July 18, 2012 at 6:18 PM Man, this satire really does hit pretty close to home! Sad but true how officers in Qatar really do care more about grooming standards and saluting in PT uniforms then about actual security and supporting those military brothers and sisters actually in harm’s way downrange. livtofly says: July 20, 2012 at 11:14 PM Dude, remove officers and insert 1st Sergeants or insert senior leadership. I didn’t give a crap if anybody said anything to me. I just wanted to do my time and leave. It seemed to me that senior NCOs got more spun up about that kind of crap then the majority of officers.