Ms. Granger is the wife of Lt. Col. Ron Granger, the commander of 1st Battalion, 2nd Marines and Gavrilovic’s commanding officer.
The couple met up at a popular Jacksonville, NC bar named Dirty Deeds. According to Lance Corporal Gavrilovic, she was there to “hook up with a Gunnery Sergeant or some horny 2nd Lieutenant.” She instead fell for him after glimpsing the motorcycle he’s still paying off on top of the alimony from his first marriage.
Lt. Col Granger said he would not contest the divorce, but he demanded to know what happened to his ceremonial sword, which he claimed he’d spotted on eBay.
FIRST NON-FILIPINO CULINARY SPECIALIST BREAKS BARRIERS, SCREWS UP CONSTANTLY
Petty Officer 3rd Class Walt Morris made Navy history recently by becoming the first ever non-Filipino Culinary Specialist. Navy Officials have hailed the multi-racial Morris — who describes himself as a “true American mutt with a mix of white, some kind of Spanish, and 1/16th Cherokee” — as the “Jackie Robinson of the Navy.”
Although Morris has shown great enthusiasm, he’s had a tough time adjusting to life cooking aboard ship.
CS1 Ramon Montez said, “He is new. I mess up too when I was new. Not as bad as he, but you know.” He then went on to list his mishaps thus far, including burning powdered eggs at breakfast, adding the wrong amount of milk to a vat of chocolate pudding, and forgetting to put the nozzle on a hose while cleaning the kitchen — drenching everyone in view.
Morris has taken it all in stride, however, saying “The recruiter told me that going CS was encroaching on the Manila Mafia’s territory, but I didn’t listen. They shout orders in Tagalog. They make me go to karaoke night, even though I want to go to sleep.”
The Petty Officer has said that if he doesn’t get better he may try to move to a job far away from Filipino sailors, possibly in the dental field.
ISLAMIC CUSTOMS, IED TACTICS OF THE WAR ON TERROR FIND MISUSE IN HONDURAN DRUG WAR
Here in the middle of the rainforests of Central America, the US Military is painstakingly misapplying the lessons it learned from the War on Terror to the War on Drugs. A soldier makes contact with tribal elders, from the turret of his desert-patterned Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle. Specialist Lenny Barnet, shouts “Salaam Alaikum” to a group of spanish-speaking farmers.
Specialist Barnet is just one of 600 soldiers who make up Joint Task Force-Bravo, a US military unit that has been helping the Honduran government fight local narcotics traffickers in Central America.
Colonel Ross Brown says that before his unit deployed, he was given instructions by General Douglas Fraser of US Southern Command to pay strict attention to After-Action Reviews coming out of Iraq and Afghanistan.
Colonel Brown says, “Well, I wasn’t too sure that we could apply lessons learned in landlocked Muslim countries to Central America, but orders are orders.”
The unit has been careful to respect Islamic customs, which no one seems to follow, even showing local priests the direction of Mecca. Soldiers have also been instructed to conduct 5 and 25 meter checks, but this rule was later repealed after several tried it in the jungle and fell down a ravine.
The Colonel is enthusiastic about the mission, and says that eventually “they can assist the locals in setting up a proper Islamic constitution, help them divy up oil reserves, and assist their multiple wives in finding jobs.”
Other headlines at The Duffel Blog include
- First Sergeant Orders Troops To Polish Black Boots ‘Just Because’
- Troops Issued New Karzai-Approved Combat Sights With Engraved ROE
- Vietnam Veterans Outraged Over Navy Christening Of USS Jane Fonda