Monthly Archives

October 2012

Wounded Warrior Assaults Five In Bar Brawl

ARLINGTON, VA – Police were called last night to the scene of Jason's Tap, a popular bar in Arlington, after a U.S. Marine who lost both legs in Iraq became belligerent and assaulted five other patrons who were watching a football game.…

Distraught Terrorist Takes His Own Life On Crowded Bus

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a recent bombing incident in downtown Washington, an investigation has revealed that the terrorist suspected of carrying out the attack had “only the best intentions for the American people in his heart.” While he…

Navy To Deploy USS Constitution To Strait Of Hormuz

BOSTON, MA – With the US Navy increasingly stretched trying to meet its commitments in both the Pacific and the Middle East, the Department of the Navy announced today that it will be re-activating its entire mothball fleet for upcoming…

One-Up: Felix Baumgartner Skydive Record Already Broken

ROSWELL, NM - Multiple records achieved by Felix Baumgartner only days ago have already been broken, after former record-holders came out of retirement for the most amazing game of one-upsmanship the world has ever seen. Baumgartner -- an…