Making the choice for who should lead the greatest nation on Earth should never be taken lightly. An informed voter should always conduct their due diligence on candidates, learn from the made-up facts and blatant lies in various political ads, and wait for Duffel Blog editorial board’s endorsement of a candidate before making their decision.
And so that time has come — albeit a little late — but not so as to render a huge voting bloc incapable of making a crucial choice. America is at a crossroads. As is said every four years by everyone on both sides of the political aisle, this is the most important election in our lifetimes, and it is no less true than it was in 2004, 2008, or it will be in 2016.
America needs a capable leader who can take us through tumultuous times. We need a President who will stand up for the average man as well as project power on the world stage. As we look across the political spectrum, many will find that this is an impossible person to find. We disagree.
And so this is why Duffel Blog endorses Charles “Chaz” Lincoln Boatright for President.
Charles Boatright is a no-holds barred fighter for the American people. He is a U.S. Marine veteran who is running after being overcome with frustration at the current political system. More than any other candidate, his campaign is the closest to the spirit of the Duffel Blog. Some of the things he says could have come right off the pages of TDB.
You can see this clearly on the main page of his website, where his biography begins, “First Read The Postings; Do Not Comment Unless You Know What You Are Reading… Seriously, America, Read First, Post Later.”
Chaz lays out an extensive platform for restoring America to greatness. As if he is an avid reader and commenter of the Duffel Blog, Chaz embodies the very spirit of our newspaper and our editorial staff. On the economy, he speaks plainly, saying “I want it better and I want more jobs!”, a sentiment of which it is impossible to disagree. Other points of his platform that we wholeheartedly endorse:
- Tax Reform: “We Need Comprehensive Tax Reform! Well No Crap…,” says Chaz on his website. “That’s Why I Would Use Romney’s Model, But Not Romney’s Back Door Dealings… If I’m Elected, There Will Be No Behind The Door Anything!”
- Energy: “I Want It Green And I Want It Mean!”
- Foreign Policy: “Oh, Complicated One Here… I Know I Know! Peace!? No Shit. But We Can Establish It If We Rise To Challenges Who Threaten Other Living Beings On Earth!”
- Education: “Education Is My #1 Priority; It Affects The Globe Ladies And Gentlemen. Our Society Is Behind Intellectually; We Have To Stop Crying About It And Do Something! Yeah… Exactly.”
- Women’s Health: “But Since I Know You Want To Hear Me Say It… Abortion: First Of All, This Is The Most Fucking Ridiculous Political Pile Of Garbage On Earth.”
The inevitable naysayers who will oppose our endorsement of Chaz will say that he is a vote-stealer, or has no shot at winning the Presidency.
This is patently absurd. Chaz has the guts, the know-how, and the endorsement of the greatest military news source on the planet behind him. Now that he has received our complete and cheerful endorsement of his rightful ascent to the Presidency, we expect you, dear reader, to vote for the best man for the job: Chaz Boatright.
If you fail to do so, our country will go straight to hell, and as Chaz says on his website, “I Have A Feeling It’s Going To Get Hairy… Really Fast!”