Monthly Archives

December 2012

Packs of Wild Gays Terrorizing Families At Fort Bragg

FAYETTEVILLE, NC - Packs of feral gay soldiers have been spotted roaming base housing at Fort Bragg, preying on people who are not “totally fabulous,” according to witness statements. Initial reports indicate that the gays hunt at night in…

Marines Deploy to Facebook to Stop Flame War

CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – Members of the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit have confirmed that they will be conducting a deployment to Facebook to stop a flame war. MEU commander Col. James Christmas told reporters he had received a warning order…

Shock Report: Returning Soldier Has No Issues, PTSD

SEATTLE, Wash. - Lawmakers and liberal groups alike were outraged yesterday when sources identified Staff Sergeant Bryan Miles, a veteran infantryman in the US Army returning from his fourth combat tour, as having no traumatic issues,…

Soldier Shoots Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

FT LEONARD WOOD, MO — Military police were called last night to the home of U.S. Army Sgt. Daniel Maddox, after an altercation involving his wife Karen and a large man in a red suit. Neighbors provided Duffel Blog with a description of the…

DoD Announces Casualty In War on Christmas

THE PENTAGON - Pentagon spokesperson George Little confirmed the death of a Specialist with the 3rd Brigade Combat Team last night in a suspected "Red on Green" attack. According to a Pentagon press release, he was apparently killed by a…