PrevNext
Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse

DALLAS, TX — Citing the government shutdown, the U.S. military has been forced to end its 39-year deployment of black helicopters tasked with monitoring controversial radio host Alex Jones, sources confirmed today.

The helicopter squadron, first deployed on Feb. 11, 1974 to watch Jones as he was born, has been part of an intergovernmental task force comprised of the 160th Special Operations Air Regiment, CIA, NSA, local law enforcement, and the Bilderberg Group.

“It’s really a sad, sad day when we have to call off an important operation like this one,” said Pentagon spokesman George Weisshaupt. “Especially when we were just days away from deploying the chem trails near his home.”

Jones has been an outspoken critic of the U.S. government, intelligence agencies, and reason.

Sources told Duffel Blog that Operation: New World Order has merely been delayed, and not been called off. While the helicopters have been grounded, other military operations such as the effort to add fluoride to Jones’ drinking water have been deemed “essential.”

Other agencies have confirmed similar cutbacks. Construction projects for FEMA Internment Camps have been put on indefinite hold, while the Department of Homeland Security was forced to purchase 18,000 boxes of standard ball ammunition instead of the more lethal hollow-point rounds.

At press time, the U.S. government had purchased every single false flag Jones was selling in his online store in an attempt to thwart further sales.