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Soldier Earns Medal Of Honor Using Video Game Skills

WASHINGTON — A soldier who used skills he learned playing video games to distinguish himself during the 2011 Battle of Waygal was awarded the Medal of Honor on Monday in a ceremony at The White House.

Bestowing the nation’s highest honor on Sgt. Trenton “Boz” Bosseletti, President Obama spoke of the then-specialist’s incredible heroics that helped beat back a fierce Taliban assault on his forward operating base.

“The fact is, this soldier is no noob when it comes to the Call of Duty,” Obama said.

The investigation and award citation for Bosseletti — who was adamant that video games played a large part — offered the evidence to back up his claim.

 “During pre-dawn hours, Specialist Bosselletti was on guard duty at the main gate of the forward operating base,” the citation read. “Alertly spotting the approach of a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device, which was the initial prong of a complex attack, he paused his game of Rock Band and notified the tactical operations center with a radio broadcast of ‘OMFG ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE’ and began engaging targets with well-placed rifle and crew-serve fire. He placed himself in the path of direct fire numerous times to rush forward and mark enemy positions with smoke grenades for identification by mortar spotters. He also exposed himself to enemy fire in order to repair damaged weapon emplacements, although this effort was not fruitful since he was merely holding a socket wrench against the equipment and making whirring noises.”

Bosselletti later established a forward aid station (or “Paladin Camp”) in the shack beside the gate, and kept track of the medical supplies, calling back several times for “more health packs.” When a small group of enemy fighters broke through the gate and attempted to storm the aid station, Bosseletti reportedly screamed “OMG HAX” and dispatched all of the aggressors using pistol whipping and knife thrusts.

Speaking with the press pool after the ceremony, Bosseletti responded to a question about how he survived relatively unscathed when so many of his peers were killed or injured.

“It’s pretty easy once you rank up enough,” he said authoritatively. “Then you’ll spawn with armor and the upgraded Deagle. You have to sidestep when you go around corners. And you have to know how to deal with camping n00bs. Make sure while you’re firing that you rapidly alternate between prone and standing, and jump straight up in the air after every few rounds.”

Bosseletti was initially denied the Medal due to anonymous allegations that after the battle was over, he squatted with his pants down over several enemy corpses, yelling “PWND n00bfags LOLOLOLOLOLOL.” After an investigation which lasted several years, he was cleared of the allegations and the Medal commendation was allowed to proceed.

This was the 14th Medal of Honor earned during the Global War on Terror, and only the seventh awarded to a living recipient.

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Sam Soza
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

Haha, THAT’S MY PHOTO!

Harrison Vey
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

This is the greatest thing I ever read

Steven Rector
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

Cool

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