Senator Blames Halitosis, Russian Mistress On PTSD
WASHINGTON — The troubling plagiarism scandal of Sen. John Walsh (D-Montana) grew stranger today, after he told reporters that in addition to post-traumatic stress disorder being a possible cause for his plagiarizing one-third of his Army War College master's thesis, it may have also led him to seek out a Russian mistress, embezzle money, and cheat during a game of Monopoly with his grandchildren.
Speaking to reporters, Walsh claimed PTSD forced him to cheat on his taxes in 2009 by hiding almost half of his financial assets in offshore accounts. The struggling senator also asserted that PTSD had caused him to seek out a Russian mistress, whom he ordered from an online catalog, and blamed his chronic halitosis and being unable to brush his teeth after supposedly discovering an IED hidden in his toothbrush at Camp Victory.
Sources confirmed that the trauma of Iraq had even made him forge his Starbucks frequent-customer punch card last week.
Since the news has come to light, Robert MacDonal…
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