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Corpsman With Stellar Performance Record, Great Tits, Named Sailor Of The Year

NAVAL AIR STATION LEMOORE— Having amassed a list of accomplishments described by her superiors as “truly impeccable,” a Naval Hospital Lemoore Sailor with eight years of service under her belt — and two perfectly-sculpted milk wagons under her blouse — accepted her unit’s award for 2014 Sailor of the Year (SOY) during a brief ceremony today in the hospital’s courtyard.

Hospital Corpsman 1st Class Veronica Suarez, a preventive medicine technician who outranked all other E-6s from her command on her most recent performance evaluation, and whose ass is not quite on par with her rack, but is still worthy of a little loving, beat out nearly two dozen other highly qualified Sailors to earn the prestigious award.

“From donating a combined 160 hours of her time to the Salvation Army in nearby Hanford, to mentoring a small group of junior Corpsmen who all got advanced during the following exam cycle, Petty Officer Suarez has consistently represented the embodiment of service and devotion to her Navy and to her fellow citizens,” said Capt. Elena Dietrich, Suarez’s commanding officer.

“Whenever you look at her, you see the epitome of professionalism,” Dietrich said of Suarez, whose lips look like they aren’t quite on par with Angelina Jolie’s, but definitely qualify as DSLs.

Dietrich, herself a decorated combat nurse — and who kind of has this Annette Benning thing going on, which certainly qualifies her as a MILF — went on to list numerous additional accomplishments that Suarez, who serves as Leading Petty Officer at NAS Lemoore’s 16 bed, 150,000 sq. ft. hospital (and who looks like she’s probably more of a moaner than a screamer) had accomplished during the past year.

“This award is more a reflection of the wonderful people I surround myself with and get to serve with every day than it is a reflection of me,” said Suarez, while accepting her award in a very humble manner, confirming that she’s most likely a “lady in the streets and whore in the sheets” rather than a “prude in the nude.”

Though she was one of only a handful of females amongst a large contingent of men who were in the running for this year’s SOY competition, Suarez said that she doesn’t view gender as a major issue in today’s Navy.

“As a woman and as a sailor, I can honestly say we’re all the same once we put on this uniform, and I love the Navy because we’re all judged on the quality of our accomplishments, and not on our gender,” Suarez — whose jaw structure and neck length look like they could easily lend themselves to some serious throat action without too much of a gag reflex — remarked when asked about the topic.

Suarez will next go on to compete against 11 top-notch E6s from medical commands worldwide in hopes of being named Commander Navy Medicine West’s 2014 SOY. Within that group, there are four other highly accomplished females that Suarez will be up against: Two pudgy (but bangable) brunettes, a hot blonde who’s single (but rumored to be a lipstick lesbian), and some redhead who might just be plain looking and lonely enough to surrender the pink after a couple of drinks.

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