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Opinion: Let’s Fight Them Here So We Don’t Have To Fight Them There

The following is an Op-Ed written by Staff Sgt. Malcolm Washburn, US Army.

There have never been more threats to the United States than today. Period. End of story.

Neither the Third Reich nor the Soviet Union hold a candle to the combined forces of Islamofascism, Russian aggression, Chinese hegemony, and whatever crackpot “Pinky and the Brain” scheme North Korea is going to unleash on us tomorrow.

I joined the Army right after 9/11, and I’ve spent my whole career constantly deploying back and forth to deal with whatever the threat of the week is. After fourteen years, I am totally cool with fighting and killing the minions of darkness.

But when someone asks me what our national strategy should be, I tell them the truth: we need to fight them over here so we don’t have to fight them over there.

We didn’t choose this fight. But even in sports you occasionally get to play a few home games. Just for once, I’d like to be able to come home from war every night and eat dinner in my own house, sleep in my own bed, and have sex with the person I’m actually married to.

I know, I know: people sleep soundly under the blanket of freedom I provide. Fuck that. Maybe if our civilians have to wake up every night because of a mortar barrage or incoming fire we can finally get some goddamned respect.

Think about how simple that would be: why fight the Taliban in the mountains of Afghanistan when there are perfectly good mountains in West Virginia? See how our enemies like having to learn dumb phrases in a stupid language and take classes on some dumbass culture.

Make them drive down our roads and get blown up every fifty yards. Have them cut deals with our two-faced politicians, or build multi-million dollar civil affairs projects which we promptly burn to the ground while pissing on their flag.

You won’t have to learn Arabic, or Pashto, or whatever shit they speak, eat their goddamned food, deal with their fucking religion, or look at their butt-ugly, tent-wearing women. English is good enough for me, and if they hate me so much, they are more than welcome to drive up on my lawn and we can settle it just as fine here as in Syria. And then I can go throw a nice slab of ribs on the grill.

Look at what happened at the Texas “Draw the Prophet” shootout: two dead terrorists and the guys who shot them slept in their own bed that night. Perfect example.

We can even meet them halfway and fight in Dearborn.

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