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Gate MPs: ‘Taliban Fighter’ Costumes Popular This Halloween

MCAS MIRAMAR, Calif. — Standing guard at the main gate this Halloween weekend, Base MPs Nicolas Panagos and Megan Bossert, both lance corporals, report that “Taliban Fighter” is this year’s most popular costume.

“They’re coming in so fast it’s hard to keep track. Especially all of those little motor bikes with, like, three dudes clinging on. Hilarious. My guess would be some kind of zombie-terrorist themed party up at the barracks,” said Panagos.

Base regulations do not allow unregistered vehicles on post but exceptions are being made to maintain the authenticity of the costumes throughout the weekend. MPs have been praising the “Taliban” Marines for their attention to detail including body odor, bloodshot eyes, realistic beards and excellent Pashto.

“One guy aimed his ‘AK-47’ — wonderful craftsmanship for a fake by the way — right at my head and I put up my hands like ‘Heyooo, watch out!’ and we all had a good chuckle,” said Bossert. “That’s the Marines for you, always with the dark humor. You’ve just got to wave them through and enjoy this holiday.”

Meanwhile, sources at MP Headquarters say panicked calls from base housing have begun pouring in claiming men in the back of Toyota trucks are flying ISIS flags and swinging curvy swords at trick-or-treating children.

“Prank calls happen every Halloween and eventually you learn to ignore it. I assure there is nothing to worry about,” said MP Battalion Company Gunnery Sgt. Caleb Rossi. “It would be too bold of a move for our enemies to use Halloween to infiltrate … Sweet mother of pearl! You’ll have to excuse me.”

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Member
10 months 27 days ago

No surprise here, doesn’t NORAD stand down every September to test their Santa’s Sleigh watch operation?

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