Doctors Close To Cure For Butthurt Disease
BOB WILSON NAVAL HOSPITAL, Calif. — After decades of research and development, Naval scientists say they are within reach of a cure for Butthurt Disease, more commonly known as BHD.
"With BHD the rectum gets so inflamed it essentially swallows the rest of the body, making that person an actual, giant asshole," said lead researcher Doctor Yvette Diaz. "Thus, the puckered frowny-face and shitty attitude."
According to sources at the Center for Disease Control, BHD is highly contagious and does not discriminate among the ranks, affecting nine out of ten military members throughout their enlistments, often repeatedly.
In March of 2013 the Department of Defense began awarding Purple Hearts for the most severe cases, as the disease left skid-marks all over the psyche of countless troops. The award highlighted the issue and kicked the search for a cure into high hear.
Bob Wilson Naval Hospital landed several key research grants and were also helped by fundraising events. Now in its third year, t…
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