Breakthrough military technology enables cutting-edge micromanagement

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FORT MEADE, Md. — New technology unveiled by the Pentagon today promises to offer the Army “an unparalleled level of battlefield supremacy in micromanagement,” according to Pentagon Spokesman Peter Cook.

The breakthrough technology, dubbed “Trust-o-Vision,” enables the company commander on the battlefield the previously-limited ability to send continuous reports to higher and receive instant verbal critiques, guidance, and second guessing.

Col. Peter Hammond, Brigade Commander of 1st Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, heralded the advancement in technology as “exactly what Corps, brigade, and battalion commanders need in order to more efficiently keep control at ever increasing distances of time, space, and reality,” he said.

“With Trust-o-Vision, my junior leaders can rest assured that I will always be watching,” Hammond added, “and always be ready to step in at a moment’s notice when I’ve decided I’m needed.”

The next generation technology, set to be installed in garrison headquarters and Tactical Operations Centers (TOCs), as well as every vehicle and personal residence of company-level leaders everywhere, features a persistent full HD audio and video feed of every commander at every echelon, from Battalion to Chief of Staff of the Army.

Cook introduced a video demonstration of a recent field test of “Trust-o-Vision” by 2nd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, during their deployment to Southern Afghanistan.

A captain using the callsign “Legion 6” contacts a lieutenant with callsign “Legion 1-6.” As Legion 6 announces movement of another unit, 3-6, an interruption occurs.

“Break break break,” says the voice, identified by subtitles as Brig. Gen. James Mingus, who is then immediately followed by Maj. Gen. Ryan Gonsalves, who asks “Hey! What is that guy doing?”

Mingus then asks the unidentified captain, “Why is that rifleman facing that direction? Shouldn’t someone be calling out sectors of fire.”

Gonsalves can then be heard ordering a machine gun team to “go cyclic on that 240, dummy!” while an unidentified voice argues they should use “sustained fire, to keep their heads down, stupid!”

Cook noted as the video ended that, “A number of awards are pending for the Division Staff for their unparalleled handling of the company in the face of sustained enemy resistance.”

Sources confirm that the static “Trust-o-Vision” will be supplemented in 2018 with a drone-based version that will be able to constantly hover in front of a dismounted company commander’s face.

Lee Ho Fuk and Jay contributed to this report