Suicide bomber can’t believe he forgot to send a Mother’s Day card
RAQQA, Syria – A suicide bomber admitted that he had completely forgotten about Mother’s Day and it was too late to fix his mistake, sources confirmed.
Abu Ghadiya, 23, revealed his embarrassing predicament in an online jihadi chatroom Saturday afternoon.
“My brothers, I have spent so much time preparing for martyrdom that I have forgotten completely about honoring motherhood,” he wrote. “It is too late to get a card into the trustworthy Iraqi mail system but I can Venmo someone if they can buy a card and drop it off in Baghdad.”
The State Department’s counter-terror messaging team seized the opportunity and mocked Ghadiya via Twitter.
“We’ve learned that ISIL has such a lousy administrative office that they can’t even remember Mother’s Day,” they posted. “Who’d want to join a group like that? Right kids?”
In a rare move, the terror group declined to claim credit for Ghadiya’s failure to honor his mother.
Numerous leaders spoke on condition of anonymity. In a statement, a spokesman admitted that “mothers are the most important part of any jihadi’s family, and we must protect relationships with the mothers at all costs. Who else will volunteer to blow themselves up once all the sons are dead?”
Ghadiya failed to detonate his vest after apparently calling his mother instead of the pre-planned detonation number. Witnesses report his mother berated him for failing at everything in life, including dying.