OPINION: The UCMJ Ban on Threesomes is Fucking Bullshit
The following is an op-ed by Maj. Thark Momson*, USMC
I joined the Marine Corps to fight for those not strong enough to fight for themselves. Some battles are with bullets — I spent my time in Iraq. Some battles are with words in the classroom — something I learned as an instructor at the Naval Academy. And some great evils can only be fought with my dick, like the UCMJ ban on threesomes.
Some people might let this great injustice stand, but I fight it. When others run away, I run toward the sound of danger. I joined the Marines so that I could stand up for the little guy, or two. I may be on trial for fraternization and harassment, but what’s really on trial here is the system.
Why would the UCMJ ban threesomes, or all group sex for that matter? How is doggy-style or cowgirl (including reverse) less prejudicial to good order and discipline than a carefully executed Eiffel tower? These laws are not only outdated, they encourage the wrong values. Orchestrating a threesome is both an art a…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.