Recruit starts EAS countdown to be more like a real Marine

41,052

DARWIN, Texas — Many aspiring Marines do everything they can to embrace their future career, but Zachary Greenville takes it one step further: Counting down his days until his end of active-duty service.

“Watching boot camp videos on YouTube and making Recruit Training graduation calendars is boot shit,” Greenville, a poolee in the Corps’ delayed entry program, told reporters as packed a dip from his first ever can of Grizzly. “My Staff Sausage says I need to show initiative, so I’ve planned out my whole career from beginning to end.”

Greenville says the first thing he plans to do is get rid of his “high-and-stupid” after boot camp and get full sleeves. The year or so afterward is unclear before he can begin not giving a fuck anymore.

“Look I can’t wait to drop pack – as soon as I get one of course. If I had to guess I’d say it’ll probably between my first deployment and my second NJP.”

We commented that it’s unusual to want to get NJP’d, but he says like any good Marine he worships Chesty Puller, and wants to live out his career “just as Chesty would want it.”

“Every Marine knows you’re not a real Marine until you get ninja-punched. I actually hope to get my first one in Infantry Training Battalion for tattoos. Hopefully I make it from private back up to corporal, and get one more for either alcohol or strippers – or both. It would be an added bonus if it’s in some East Asian liberty port. If I can do that, I’ll get out as a terminal lance. It’s been something I’ve wanted to do ever since I signed my enlistment 20 minutes ago.”

Until then, he says he plans on spending the remaining time before shipping out to boot camp sharpening his skates and catching up on Call-Of-Duty at work, he added, “just like a real Marine.”