Dark Laughter

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Dark Laughter has written 8 article(s).

New Marine Corps Show Fights Humor With Humor

by Dark Laughter

FORT MEADE, MD – Faced with the proliferation of unapproved military humor sites that undermine good order and discipline, the Marine Corps has launched its own official humor show to counter them all. The new series, called The Whiskey Locker, follows a fictional pair of Marines and their online show, which is like a cross between Tosh.0 and [...]

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Typo Leads To Creation Of $179M Gorilla Warfare Program

by Dark Laughter

CRESCENT CITY, CA — The Department of Defense has confirmed accusations that a $179 million military training program for mountain gorillas was created based on a spelling error in an email between two high ranking Army officers, according to official sources. The admission follows over a year of denials, which were originally sparked by a [...]

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General Dunford Accepts Wager To Spend Year In Haunted Command

by Dark Laughter

PASHTYLVANIA, AFGHANISTAN – Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford, Jr. confirmed late yesterday that he has accepted a wager to spend no less than one year in the supposedly haunted command of United States Forces – Afghanistan (USFOR-A). Legend has it that there is a terrible curse on the command, located deep in the foreboding mountains of [...]

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Commander Relieved For Violating Entire UCMJ

by Dark Laughter

CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – The Department of Defense has been rocked by the firing and court-martial of a high-ranking Marine officer for allegedly violating every single article of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Colonel Mitch Grant, once a promising VMI graduate and the commanding officer of the Eighth Marine Regiment, is now charged [...]

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Final John Paul Jones Letter: Denounces US, Requests Russian Burial

by Dark Laughter

PARIS, FRANCE – “I feel the end is near”, starts the letter, “Yet though I was born in Scotland, and learned my trade sailing under the flag of England, I have learned that, though a man may be born to one people, he may die as part of another.” “For thus has it been with [...]

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Man In Afghan President’s Uniform Shoots Secretary Of Defense In Latest ‘Green-on-Blue’ Attack

by Dark Laughter

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta is in stable condition this morning after being shot by Afghan President Hamid Karzai during a joint press conference on plans to reduce “green-on-blue” incidents. Though an initial press release from the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) described Panetta’s assailant as a “man in an Afghan President’s uniform,” those [...]

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Afghan Army Responds to Corpse Desecration, Mentors US Troops On Culture

by Dark Laughter

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN – Several months after Americans first saw a video of Scout Snipers from 3rd Battalion 2nd Marines urinating on a group of dead Taliban, a group of Afghan soldiers is now teaching US Marines about Afghan culture to ensure similar incidents never happen again. “We were deeply saddened by what we saw in [...]

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CENTCOM Commander, ‘Mad Dog’ General James Mattis Set To Retire

by Dark Laughter

TAMPA, FL – Today the United States Central Command (CENTCOM) announced the resignation of its top commander, General James N. Mattis, who plans to retire from the Marine Corps in a matter of months. Mattis is best known for commanding the 1st Marine Division during the opening phases of Operation Iraqi Freedom, but has also been criticized [...]

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