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Author: Grumpy

Jay-B is the only member of the team who can spell “antidisestablishmentarianism” and that’s really the only reason he is on the team at all. Admittedly, it doesn't come up a lot, but when it does. . .
KABUL — Afghanistan is telling friends that it has decided to break up with long-time boyfriend Freedom. “We’ve endured enough,” sources say the burka-clad beauty told gal-pals. Neighbors say the southwest Asian nation has been quite vocal about its feelings. One friendly country, who would only give its first name as “Tajik,” claims the mountainous […]
HONOLULU — China has claimed a key new territory in its efforts to expand its reach in the Pacific region this week, building an artificial island inside Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The presence of Chinese dredging crews on a shoal in the middle of the U.S. Navy’s Pacific Fleet headquarters was first reported to Naval Intelligence in […]
BOSTON — The Ancient Order of Hibernians, an Irish-American cultural group and drinking society, is using St. Patrick’s Day to draw attention to its dispute with the United States Army over the Army’s “cultural appropriation” of the color green. “Green is our fookin color,” according to Mickey McSorley of no fixed address, South Boston. “Nobody else’s! And […]
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