Study: Mom Jokes Significantly Funnier If Mom Is Dead

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — A recent Army survey conducted among combat arms soldiers indicates that humor involving the weight and sexual proclivities of soldiers’ mothers was 62 percent funnier if the mother in question was dead. “This report…

BOLO List To Include Every Color And Year Of Corolla

Kabul, Afghanistan – Intelligence officials working at Resolute Support HQ have compiled dozens of new intelligence reports regarding future attacks to create a comprehensive Be On the Lookout (BOLO) list to coalition forces operating in…

USMC To Deploy Alabamian Code Talkers

FORT MCCLELLAN, Ala. – The United States Marine Corps is poised to resurrect its legendary Code Talker Program by attaching several native Alabamians to Marine infantry units currently deployed to Afghanistan, sources have confirmed. “Ahm…

Injured Spouse The Real Victim of Deployment

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Army Spouse Lindsey Ackerman would like everyone to know that she deserves a measure of sympathy for the physical damage that her impending divorce has caused her, Duffel Blog has learned from social media. “Deployments…

GNC To Release Pre-Workout Dip

SAN DIEGO, Calif. – Sports nutrition giant GNC plans to release a new pre-workout smokeless tobacco product some time in 2015, Duffel Blog has learned. The experimental energy/nicotine product, codenamed "Tobaccosplode," was designed for…

AFRICOM General Killed By Wildebeest Stampede

PRIDE LANDS, Africa — General David M. Rodriguez, commander of US Africa Command (AFRICOM), died yesterday afternoon, trampled to death in a freak wildebeest stampede, Duffel Blog has learned. “It’s all my fault,” sobbed 2nd Lt. Simon Imba.…