Nation shocked to learn top spy agency spies on people

WASHINGTON — The nation is in a panic after discovering that the Central Intelligence Agency — also known as the "CIA" according to recently-declassified documents — may be spying on people around the world. The revelation comes alongside a…

Report: Openly gay Secretary of the Army does job

THE PENTAGON – According to internal memoranda and spot reporting, personnel at every level of the Pentagon are reeling in shock as the new Secretary of the Army, Eric Fanning, is currently doing his job. This comes in the wake of hushed…

ISIS surrenders after reading veteran’s open letter

RAQQA, Syria — The leaders of ISIS collectively surrendered yesterday after reading a highly compelling open letter posted on the internet, according to an apologetic and heartfelt statement released by the terrorist group. The open letter,…

BREAKING: Page Actually Unintentionally Left Blank

RANDOLPH AFB, TX – The United States Air Force is on the verge of collapse today after it was discovered that a page within Air Force Instruction 91-202 was actually unintentionally left blank, Duffel Blog has learned.The page, which was…

OBITUARY: Mohammed Emwazi, AKA Jihadi John

In the afternoon of November 12th, 2015, Jihadi John passed away in the middle of the street in Al-Raqqah, Syria, when he was struck square in the face by a high-velocity, laser-guided munition. He was attended by several scattering and…