General Mattis Takes ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Retired Marine Corps Gen. James Mattis joined a growing number of Americans by taking part in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge on Sunday, sources confirmed. In a video uploaded to YouTube and later posted to Facebook, the…

NSA Analyst Tries To Sell Secrets To Russians, Fails

FORT MEADE, MD — His financial stability rocked by furloughs, overtime cuts and stagnant promotions, NSA Senior Analyst Eric Delhugh was having trouble paying his bills. He considered himself a patriotic American but Delhugh was desperate.…

Source: Most CENTCOM Officers Fail Basic Geography

TAMPA, FL - Sources at United States Central Command revealed today that less than half of the officers assigned to the command could correctly identify ten or more of the twenty-two countries in the command’s area of responsibility. “Of…

Army Study Proves Majors Worse Than 2nd Lieutenants

ARLINGTON, VA - Army Chief of Staff General Ray Odierno announced today the results of an Army-wide study on company and field-grade leadership, which showed Majors are far more dangerous to soldiers than Second Lieutenants. “While this was…