da kine

da kine

Da Kine is a 13-year veteran of the US Army who is double-tabbed with the coveted Chairborne and Pogue scrolls.

da kine has written 9 article(s).


Staff Sergeant Scared Shitless of ‘Mission Command’

by da kine

Army mission command

FT LEE, VA — Friends and peers of Staff Sergeant Scott Austin, a water purification specialist currently stationed at Fort Lee, VA, have informed The Duffel Blog that he is absolutely “scared shitless” of the Army’s new Mission Command philosophy. Mission Command, derived from the German Auftragstaktik concept, is the United States Army’s newest obsession and a clear [...]

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Masters Program Turns Captain Into ‘Academicky Douchebag’

by da kine

Soldiers standing in formation

SCHOFIELD BARRACKS, HI – Fellow soldiers tell The Duffel Blog that obtaining a master’s degree at the prestigious Stanford University has turned Army Captain Brian Dexter into an ‘academicky douchebag.’ Dexter, currently the S3 of 525th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, attended Stanford University through the Army’s Advanced Civil Schooling (ACS) program following his company command of [...]

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New XO Attempting To Stamp Out Misuse of Word ‘Literally’

by da kine

Soldiers In Formation

FORT BLISS, TEXAS – Major Sean O’Sullivan, the new executive officer of 1-42 Air Defense Artillery Battalion, has made it his primary mission in life to stamp out the misuse of the word “literally” among his staff officers and subordinate leaders within the battalion. O’Sullivan’s first salvo in this campaign came last Tuesday in the [...]

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Soldiers Don’t Know If Sergeant Major Intentionally Doing Bill Cosby Impression

by da kine

Army formation

FORT JACKSON, SC – Soldiers of the 195th Infantry Brigade are unsure whether Command Sergeant Major Joe Bowden is intentionally doing an impression of comedian Bill Cosby or if he is so out of touch with today’s soldiers that any similarity is accidental. “I’m 50/50 at this point whether he’s doing it on purpose or not,” [...]

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Battalion S1 Manages To Mention Her Bronze Star In Every Conversation

by da kine

Female MP's

BOSTON, MA – The top administrative soldier at the Massachusetts Army National Guard’s 215th Military Police Battalion never misses an opportunity to mention her Bronze Star citation during conversations both on and off duty, according to official sources. Captain Lori Stewart, the battalion S1 officer, earned the award last year on deployment to Afghanistan. “Captain [...]

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Former E-1 Hired As Military Consultant On New Action Film

by da kine

Transformers Action Film

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Former U.S. Army Private Jonathan Fleckstein has found a lucrative new career in Hollywood as a military technical consultant to film and television productions dealing with military matters. In the four years since separating from the Army, which he served in for ten months, the native Angelino has taken part in the [...]

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Panetta Signs Memo Authorizing Men to Join Adjutant General Corps

by da kine

Leon Panetta

WASHINGTON, DC – In a surprise move sure to cause controversy in the military community, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has signed a memorandum authorizing men to join the United States Army’s Adjutant General’s Corps. During a press conference regarding the latest change in policies dealing with gender equality in the armed forces, Panetta explained his [...]

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Nobody Asks, Soldier Still Tells About His New Boyfriend

by da kine

dadtflag

FORT BRAGG, NC – Soldiers from the 349th Military Police Company recently contacted The Duffel Blog, complaining that Army First Lieutenant David “Kip” Francis talks incessantly about his new boyfriend in graphic detail, despite nobody ever asking the young officer, who recently revealed he is homosexual. “The LT will not shut up about ‘Paolo’, his new Brazilian [...]

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