Change-of-command fart leads to change-of-boxers

CAMP LEJEUNE, NC —  An unexpected fart during 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing's change-of-command ceremony on Tuesday led to a change of boxers for Sgt. Maj. Samuel Beckett, his wife Patti confirmed. "Brand new ones he just got for Christmas from…

Soldier discovers cheat code to SHARP training video game

FORT STEWART, Ga. — Less than a week after the release of the Army’s ELITE-SHARP Command Team Trainer, 1st Lt. Reese Morton with the 188th Infantry Brigade has cracked the cheat code for the video game on handling sexual assaults. “I was…

F-16 To KC-135: I Thought We Had Something Magical

The following was written by an Oklahoma ANG F-16. TULSA AIR NATIONAL GUARD BASE, Ok. — I was on a training mission about to circle Oklahoma City and head back to Tulsa when a rugged, big-boned KC-135 pulled up beside me and tipped his…

Drunk Soldier Supports Women Registering For The Shaft

FORT BRAGG, NC — After downing a fifth of Old Crow bourbon while cleaning the barracks, Pfc. Glenn Williams of 2nd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment announced his full support of women registering for the shaft. "I ain't no…

Doctors Close To Cure For Butthurt Disease

BOB WILSON NAVAL HOSPITAL, Calif. —  After decades of research and development, Naval scientists say they are within reach of a cure for Butthurt Disease, more commonly known as BHD. "With BHD the rectum gets so inflamed it essentially…

Oprah Winfrey Hosts Veterans Day Giveaway Special

SAN DIEGO, California — Members of the Southern California Veterans Alliance got a big surprise this afternoon after their Veterans Day lunch outing to Golden Corral turned into a live giveaway special for the Oprah Winfrey Network.…