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Author: Cat Astronaut

A demobilized Mobile Infantryman currently serving as Chief Cryptozoologist for the State of Rhode Island, he specializes in growing mustaches, deadlifting in silkies, and picking fights with '90s-era wrestlers. @theschmedium
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SPACE — While training with the inaugural class of the recently announced U.S. Space Force, sources say Lt. j.g. Tyler Shoelaces got lost during a navigation exercise and wandered into a wormhole. According to Space Force officials, the introductory class “Space Navigation: 101” is a simple navigation course conducted just a few thousand miles above […]
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FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Referring to his opponent’s ability to outwit him completely on the battlefield, 2nd Lt. Chad Byers confessed that the inanimate green targets used to symbolize the enemy during a recent training event were “totally inside [his] OODA loop.” According to sources, the reusable paper, or occasionally plastic, objects were able to […]
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