Dirty

"Dirty" is an Infantry teamleader in the Army National Guard. Yes, smart-guy, the National Guard has infantrymen in it (and so does your mom.) He is currently deployed to the tropical island paradise of Camp Beuhring, Kuwait.

Dirty has written 5 article(s).

Fort Bragg Soldier Charged With Impersonating A Civilian

by Dirty

HOPE MILLS, NC — Controversy surrounds the arrest of a Fort Bragg soldier on Saturday on fraud charges, following allegations that he was impersonating a civilian for personal benefit. Army Specialist James Mountebank admits that he was at the popular Fayetteville hotspot It’z Entertainment City, but claims he had no fraudulent intent when he reportedly [...]

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Trauma Of War Brought Back By Opening Of Local Green Beans

by Dirty

CHARLOTTE, NC — The opening of North Carolina’s first Green Beans Coffee is to blame for one woman’s debilitating anxiety attacks and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder-related flashbacks, claim friends and family. Green Beans, an American coffee chain, is almost exclusively found on U.S. military installations and overseas bases. The first off-post franchise opened in Charlotte last [...]

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Terrorists Attack Kuwait Military Base With Rain Storm

by Dirty

CAMP BUEHRING, KUWAIT - A surprise rainfall wreaked havoc on soldiers stationed in the Kuwaiti desert today, causing massive power failures, interruption of connections to internet pornography websites, and widespread reports of increased boredom. The rain storm, with initial reports indicating it to be a possible terrorist attack, was the first recorded precipitation in over six [...]

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U.S. Air Force Turns 65; Looks Forward to Retirement in Spring

by Dirty

THE PENTAGON - In a surprise announcement earlier today, General Mark Welsh III, Air Force Chief of Staff, revealed that the Air Force is planning to retire sometime in the Spring, having last month celebrated her 65th birthday. Also present for the announcement was Air Force Secretary Michael B. Donley, who praised the service record of [...]

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Halfway Heroes, ‘Near Veterans’ Seek Recognition For Almost Serving In Military

by Dirty

CHARLESTON, SC – Jody Siever spends his Friday nights like so many American servicemen and women, mingling while kicking back drinks at a local bar. Recognizing the giveaway military haircut of a fellow patron, he approaches with an arm extended. “Welcome home, soldier.” Smiling, though apparently puzzled, the stranger returns a firm, brief handshake. “Thanks, [...]

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