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Tag: Africa

BETHESDA, Md. — Regular hand washing and eating a good hearty breakfast are among the preventive steps recommended for controlling the outbreak of Ebola, according to a new memorandum from the U.S. Army’s biodefense laboratory. The memo from the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Disease (USAMRIID), which Duffel Blog obtained, advises soldiers and Marines heading into Liberia […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Obama last week ordered troops to Chad, after a photo of a former service member with the hashtags #recallmetoduty #tobringthegirlsback went viral, but polls indicate that most Americans don’t know who the fuck Chad is, or why he even needs special forces. As Chad is poorly known in Washington, Defense Intelligence Agency analysts searched on Facebook to gather a […]
GULU, UGANDA — Two weeks after George Zimmerman was found not guilty in the murder of Trayvon Martin, the former neighborhood watch captain has turned up in Uganda after allegedly gunning down a “suspicious-looking” African warlord, sources confirmed today. “Between killing a kid and saving a family, I was getting a lot of press,” confessed Zimmerman. […]
CHAD, AFRICA — United States Africa Command announced Tuesday that it’s most rapid deployment since its founding was the result of inaccurate reporting and a large-scale failure of leadership. Marines of the Special Purpose Marine Air Ground Task Force-Africa set out for landfall in Chad last Sunday in response to what intelligence reports referred to […]
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