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Tag: Al Qaeda

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TIMBUKTU, MALI — The chief accountant for the Al Qaeda terrorist organization says he’s starting to get “a bit worried” about his safety, sources confirmed today. Murray Goldstein, 54, has taken care of the terror network’s finances for nearly five years, replacing its previous accountant who spontaneously combusted in Peshawar. “It’s pretty hard doing what I do, […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the infamous Miley Cyrus performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, U.S. military psychological units have been broadcasting the video to every known Al Qaeda operative worldwide in an effort to confuse, depress and annoy the hardcore, battle hardened terrorists into surrender. “We used the same strategy in Panama,” said Pentagon […]
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MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — In response to the recent US designation of former soldier Henry Dean as an Al Qaeda combatant, members of Somalia’s Al Qaeda branch angrily told the Duffel Blog that the self-identified ‘American Al Qaeda’ had actually spent his entire jihad in Somalia making phone calls home and watching movies. Dean, an Army food service specialist […]
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