Browsing Tag

Christmas

Veterans Affairs turns away veterans of war on Christmas

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. – In yet another case of embarrassing incompetence, a VA center has turned away a group of War on Christmas Veterans seeking basic medical care, local sources report. “They’ve served their country, making great sacrifices…

Airman finally gets pussy for Christmas

VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. – Airman Alex Johnson finally got the pussy he had always wanted for Christmas this year. “It was so awesome,” Johnson exclaimed with a dopey expression on his face. “There were so many pussies to choose…

ISIS protests public nativity scene

AL QAYYARAH, Iraq — The self-proclaimed Islamic State has voiced criticism of the nativity scene in front of a local burnt out Grand Immaculate Church, sources confirmed today. “We are deeply offended by these kafir displays of idolatry,”…

‘Twas The Duty NCO Before Christmas

'Twas the Duty NCO before Christmas, throughout all gov'rnment property in view Not a creature was stirring, those not on leave were few Having just toured the barracks, I made logbook entries with care, Futilely hoping my relief would soon…

The ISIS Holiday Shopping Guide

The holiday season is now in full swing, with only a few shopping days left until Christmas. Whether you are looking for that perfect gift or for a few last-minute stocking stuffers, the Islamic State has great gift ideas that are sure to…

Santa Mistaken for Passenger Jet, Shot Down Over Ukraine

KIEV, Ukraine — Ukrainian officials have begun sifting through the wreckage of Santa's sleigh, after it was apparently shot down shortly before midnight local time, sources told Duffel Blog. The government claims the sleigh was shot down by…

How The Sergeant Major Stole Christmas

Every Troop Down in Troop-ville Liked Christmas a lot … But the Sergeant Major Ensconced in his office Did NOT! The Sergeant Major hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Some thought TBI or his unfaithful wife was the reason. It could…