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Tag: DB

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CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Marine Gunnery Sgt. Lyle Coolridge has developed an innovative new leadership method called the “T.H.R.O.A.T.P.U.N.C.H. System” to solve his unit’s morale problems, sources confirmed today. According to Coolridge, the system draws on some of the most cutting edge management practices and psychological research to maximize morale among his Marines and remedy […]
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CREECH AIR FORCE BASE —Local Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Banshee 31, who completed his first deployment just two months ago, is still droning on about it like he’s some sort of goddamn hero, sources confirmed today. “I swear, if this guy tells one more story about the Camp Arifjan Green Beans I’m going to ground him,” […]
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FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Referring to his opponent’s ability to outwit him completely on the battlefield, 2nd Lt. Chad Byers confessed that the inanimate green targets used to symbolize the enemy during a recent training event were “totally inside [his] OODA loop.” According to sources, the reusable paper, or occasionally plastic, objects were able to […]
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