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Tag: Government Shutdown

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FORT MEADE, MD — His financial stability rocked by furloughs, overtime cuts and stagnant promotions, NSA Senior Analyst Eric Delhugh was having trouble paying his bills. He considered himself a patriotic American but Delhugh was desperate. He decided to sell secrets to a foreign government but was shocked to find no one was interested. “I […]

Army Runs Out Of Red Tape

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On October 15, 2013

WASHINGTON DC — The Army’s top logistician has confirmed that due to the government shutdown, the Army has completely run out of red tape. “We’ve been relying on our emergency rain

THE PENTAGON — A Sergeant Major was found unconscious in a Washington brothel Sunday morning, after an all-night marathon session of sex with multiple prostitutes, fueled by large amounts of Viagra and amphetamines. A Three-Star General was arrested after a high-speed chase with Fort Detrick Military Police, who found an underage Filipino boy and over […]
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