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Tag: Immigration

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SUBIC BAY, Philippines – Petty Officer 3rd Class Jimmy Ortiz, a Boatswain’s mate assigned to the skeleton crew at Subic Bay, has experienced a political awakening regarding the U.S. government’s overly generous immigration laws since the news that the girl he’s been ‘just chilling with’ is carrying his child, sources confirmed today. “I’ve never thought about […]
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WASHINGTON — President Trump is considering rescinding an executive order temporarily barring people traveling to the United States from seven Muslim-majority countries, after he saw a story highlighting a gorgeous Iranian woman that he “absolutely had to grab,” sources confirmed. According to senior White House sources, the President was watching his favorite shows when he came across a […]
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OCEANSIDE, Calif. — Despite being the most overqualified candidate ever to volunteer, Superman has been rejected for Army service because he’s an illegal alien, Duffel Blog has learned. When he walked into the Oceanside Army National Guard’s recruiting office, Sgt. 1st Class Armando Lamb knew he was the perfect recruit. “Faster than a bullet, stronger than a locomotive and […]
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