Browsing Tag

Lieutenant

AFRICOM General Killed By Wildebeest Stampede

PRIDE LANDS, Africa — General David M. Rodriguez, commander of US Africa Command (AFRICOM), died yesterday afternoon, trampled to death in a freak wildebeest stampede, Duffel Blog has learned. “It’s all my fault,” sobbed 2nd Lt. Simon Imba.…

Op-Ed Writing Added to Infantry Officers Course

WASHINGTON, DC – Complaining about the 'poor-quality' and 'substandard' opinion pieces submitted to newspapers by female lieutenants who have washed out of Infantry Officers Course, Marine Commandant Gen. James Amos has announced that all…

Army Study Proves Majors Worse Than 2nd Lieutenants

ARLINGTON, VA - Army Chief of Staff General Ray Odierno announced today the results of an Army-wide study on company and field-grade leadership, which showed Majors are far more dangerous to soldiers than Second Lieutenants. “While this was…