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Tag: Marines

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JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — Streamers fell from the ceiling and a magnum of Pabst Blue Ribbon was popped as Blind Bomber Tattooing celebrated their 1000th backwards Eagle, Globe and Anchor being tattooed Saturday evening. The lucky recipient was Marine Corps Pvt. Denny McClusky, a slightly-drunk Bulk Fuel Specialist new to the fleet at nearby Camp Lejeune. For […]
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FORT DRUM, N.Y. — Military dependents nationwide are signing up for Dear John, a new dating app utilizing GPS technology that notifies Jody when you are deployed, sources confirmed today. Dear John has already created over thousands of potential divorces in and around military bases after its launch last year. The Tinder-style app, launched to […]
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HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Columbia Pictures has confirmed that Bill Murray would reprise his role as Phil Connors for an upcoming sequel for “Groundhog Day” to be set in Afghanistan. The film would follow Connors — who in the years after the original film leaves a Pittsburgh news station to become Senior Digital Content Reporter for the Washington Post — as he […]
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OCEANSIDE, Calif. — Marine Sgt. Brent Walls, who enjoys healthy interpersonal relationships, high self-esteem and a Johnson bigger than three family-sized cans of Dinty Moore Stew stacked on top of each other, revealed the key to success during a drunken Snapchat ramble on Saturday, according to several sighing witnesses. “You have to be in control. You have to let women know where […]
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