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Tag: Officers

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SAN DIEGO — Naval officer and self-described “warrior-scholar” Lt. Mark Chadwick was saved from drowning by his massively inflated ego during a training exercise earlier this week, sources confirmed. Bystanders claim that after Chadwick fell overboard he immediately condescended not only to the rescue team but also to the water itself, and that he certainly […]
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RAMSTEIN AB, Germany – Widespread panic occurred this week at 3rd Air Force Headquarters on Ramstein Air Base, Germany, after an intel officer used all these big words during his daily update brief. Lt. Amit Reddi, an air defense analyst for 3rd Air Force, apparently threw the unit into complete chaos by explaining that “enemy maneuvers were nominal” and […]
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SAN DIEGO, Calif. – Standing a little taller than yesterday, newly-minted Navy Lieutenant Austin Davies is reportedly thrilled that he’ll finally be taken seriously as an effective, mission-oriented professional he says he’s always been. “This promotion represents a big step forward for me,” Davies congratulated himself, evidently believing he did something to earn the automatic advance in […]
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