Browsing Tag

Politics

Army Bans Whistles To Discourage Future Whistleblowers

WASHINGTON — Following a rash of whistleblowing that senior leaders have called "annoying," "unacceptable," and even "treasonous," the Army has announced a stopgap order banning all whistles on its bases. Whistles are no longer authorized…

Trump Revealed To Be Vladimir Putin In Hilarious Wig

WASHINGTON—Presidential candidate and military prep school veteran Donald Trump was revealed this morning to actually be Russian President Vladimir Putin wearing an outlandish hairpiece. The revelation came after weeks of investigation by…

Nation’s Veterans Demand Farmland In Gaul

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A delegation from the American Legion had a meeting today with several leading senators to demand suitable farmland for the nation's landless veterans in the province of Transalpine Gaul. "We swear here, upon Jupiter's…