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Tag: Religion

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QUANTICO, VA – The recent nomination of retired Marine Gen. James Mattis for Secretary of Defense may have made Marines feel like they died and went to heaven, but not everyone is shouting “Hallelujah!” Just weeks after Mattis was nominated to the post by President-elect Donald Trump, Headquarters Marine Corps has issued an emergency All-Marine message (ALMAR) directly ordering Marines to […]

Navy SEALs Find Jesus

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On April 20, 2014

JERUSALEM – In a recent boost for Middle Eastern peace efforts, the Defense Department confirmed that a raid by Navy SEALs in the West Bank had killed known extremist agitator Isa Ibn Yusuf. The

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SAN DIEGO, CA — Amidst a hanging cloud of dank smoke, inside the boatswain locker of the USS Tarawa (LHA-1), U.S. Navy Rastafari Chaplain Commander Winfrey Dalter invoked his bleary-eyed congregation of nearly one hundred sailors and Marines, “not to worry about a thing, because every little thing is going to be alright.” It was […]
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TOPEKA, KS – After several months of closed-door negotiations, the Chaplain Corps of the U.S. Army has announced that they have finally reached an agreement with the Westboro Baptist Church that will allow its members to serve officially as military chaplains. Second Lt. Jacob Phelps, a member of the Westboro congregation who was already serving as a […]
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