Lieutenant confident Moleskine journal cooler than green leader book
FORT DRUM, NY – Second Lt. Marcus Trevor is excited about making a good first impression at his first duty station. The 23-year-old infantry officer...
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Taylor Swift lyrics for military experiences
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Taylor Swift shocked the world last week by releasing an album with just 16 hours notice. Swift says the album Folklore was...
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China’s Terracotta Army reaches 100% compliance on mandatory training
WASHINGTON — Pentagon leaders are concerned and totally jealous after China announced that its famed army of 8,000 terracotta sculptures has completed every course of...
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Motto acknowledges unit probably some other part of the spear
FORT STEWART, Ga. — Soldiers of the 599th Quartermaster Battalion are celebrating their new unit motto, which acknowledges the unit is likely nowhere near the...
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Point/Counterpoint: ‘I shot bin Laden in the face’ vs. ‘Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?’
The following is a discussion between Robert J. O’Neill, a former Navy SEAL who claims to have killed Osama bin Laden and Timothy Goldman, a...
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SECDEF: The dog ate my orders book
THE PENTAGRAM — Today Secretary of Defense Mark T. Esper told President Trump that critical instructions to military units worldwide were delayed because a dog...
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Academy grad declares tasking ‘right in his wheelbox’
LANGLEY AFB, Va. — During a staff meeting, Air Force Captain Richard “Action” Jackson continued his habit of fucking up common military phrases. Jackson, a...
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Army backs down from renaming Fort Slavery Was Cool
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Responding to pressure from the Trump Administration, the Army has agreed to shelve plans to rename Fort Slavery Was Cool, an Army...
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Ask a 1950s-Era Army Doctor
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — As part of our efforts to provide world class services for readers, Duffel Blog offers expert medical advice from Dr. David...
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Soldiers vote for WiFi Hotspot enabled rifles
ABERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Maryland — Soldiers nationwide have spoken: The number one piece of equipment the military needs to survive in combat is rifles that...
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Sergeants Major drink Buds Light
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — After a long day at work, base sergeants major drink Buds Light, a recent poll in the Camp Lejeune Globe reports. Aides de...
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2nd Lieutenant lectures Sgt. Maj. on leadership
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — That new second lieutenant in your unit is lecturing the division sergeant major on leadership again, sources report. Lt. Ben Bowman...
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DOD unveils new MRE for pregnant service members
THE PENTAGON — During a Friday morning press briefing, the Department of Defense unveiled a new meal-ready-to-eat specifically designed to meet the nutritional needs and...
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USS Bonhomme Richard boasts zero COVID-19 cases
NAVAL BASE SAN DIEGO, Calif. — The US Navy proudly cited the eradication of coronavirus aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard (LHD-6) as...
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82nd Airborne to fuel its own DUIs
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Last week the 82nd Airborne released its own brand of whiskey to reduce the outsourcing of paratrooper boozing. “It’s our latest...
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Pigeon: We should not tear down Confederate statues!
I am a pigeon. As a member of this otherized and belittled minority community, I have watched with particular concern while the current racial discord...
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Russian cyberterrorist stuck on six month wait list to hack into VA
ST PETERSBURG, Russia – After initially hoping to quickly complete his mission to steal the personal data of thousands of American veterans, Russian Military Intelligence...
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Congress declares war on Spain after burning of USS Bonhomme Richard
SAN DIEGO, Calif. – The USS Bonhomme Richard (LHA-6), one of the Navy’s premier amphibious assault ships, suffered an explosion and fire this Sunday at...
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Fort Hood added to list of Fort Hood off-limits establishments
KILLEEN, Texas — Officials at Fort Hood, Texas announced this week they have added the 78-year-old post to the list of III Corps off-limits establishments....
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Army career manager ‘emotionally exhausted’ from screwing so many people
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Your career manager is “emotionally” exhausted from screwing so many people today, sources report. Capt. Melanie Benford, who manages the careers...
