Daredevil Felix Baumgartner first recipient of Space Force jump wings
WASHINGTON – Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner was awarded U.S. Space Force jump wings today, making him the very first recipient of the new service’s most...
Duffel Blog — The American Military's Most Trusted News Source
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Specialist furious after finding general’s rifle unattended in latrine
KABUL — Army Spc. Wyatt Allen was furious Thursday after finding a rifle unattended in a portable latrine on Bagram Air Base, sources say. Allen...
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Iraq sand still stuck in soldier’s ass excited about returning home
YOUR COLON – Hello human carrier. It is us, the grains of sand stuck so far up your bunghole that you’d need a colonoscopy by...
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Commander of ForceyMcSpaceFace deeply regrets crowdsourcing branch name
WASHINGTON, Planet Earth – The first Chief of Space Operations, Gen. John Raymond, deeply regrets crowdsourcing the name for America’s newest military branch, according to...
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Navy Combat Fatness Test starts soon for chiefs and super chiefs
THE PENTAGON — The Army may have a new physical fitness test, but the Navy has countered with a new Combat Fatness Test. All chief...
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Mess hall commander fired due to ‘loss of condiments’
The commander of a military dining facility at Bagram Airbase was fired this week due to a “loss of condiments” within his command, according to...
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VA offers Divorce Loan
WASHINGTON — The Department of Veteran Affairs will now guarantee a loan to help service members leave their spouses, Secretary Robert Wilkie confirmed today. The...
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VA finally mails disability rating decision to Navy veteran Kirk Douglas
WASHINGTON — The tenth Secretary of Veterans Affairs, The Honorable Robert Wilkie, is proud to announce his agency finally has mailed Navy veteran Kirk Douglas...
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America’s top uniformed hacker guarding Fort Meade gate
FORT MEADE, Md. — Army Sgt. Ryan Mayers is reported to be the best cyber operative in the entire Department of Defense. He has personally...
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Army unveils 8 new badges you’re going to want!
WASHINGTON – The U.S. Army has announced its newest line of 2020 chest candy. Secretary of the Army Ryan McCarthy revealed that the significant expansion...
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Marine who saved child from burning car without his cover to be punished
QUANTICO, Va. — Lance Cpl. Will Smithers will be removed from the Marine Corps early following his reckless behavior while in uniform, sources report. Smithers...
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Police break-up unlicensed dentistry ring in barracks
FORT BRAGG, N.C. – Military police special-response teams raided a barracks complex last night on Gruber Road, arresting dozens of soldiers and shutting down an...
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General Funk bringing the ’70s back to Army TRADOC
FORT EUSTIS, Va. — Gen. Paul E. Funk II, the commanding general of Army Training and Doctrine Command, wants TRADOC to join him in Funky...
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Military doctors prepare to treat coronavirus just as ineptly as other ailments
TRIPLER ARMY MEDICAL CENTER, Hawaii — With cases of the heavily hyped coronavirus rising, military medical practitioners are preparing to combat the illness with the...
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U.S. sees shadow, predicts 10 more years of GWOT
WASHINGTON — An unsettling fog descended in the early morning hours as onlookers camped out in anticipation for the ceremony: Would the U.S. emerge from...
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Army HRC successfully matches 110% of officers to #1 assignment choice
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Army Human Resources Command (HRC) has been popping champagne corks all day after achieving a command first: 110 percent of Army...
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Drill instructor murdered with drill in hilarious prank
FORT BENNING, Ga. – An Army recruit is in Military Police custody after a jovial prank hilariously took the life of his drill sergeant, sources...
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Dying hero worried all the good on-ramps already named
AFGHANISTAN – Army Sgt. First Class Derrik Dillon, watching the world fade away from him after suffering fatal injuries from an IED explosion, spent his...
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Soldiers don’t know what demeaning nickname to use for Space Force
THE UNDERGROUND — Reports from the E4 Mafia suggest soldiers are concerned about the Space Force: Specifically, what disrespectful nickname can we all decide on?...
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Kobe Bryant’s death best possible time to bring up 22 a day, local veteran reasons
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Worldwide mourning over the tragic death of retired NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash on Sunday...
