Iran mines own business
Tehran says explosive devices part of ‘domestic consumption’ strategy
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Americans shocked to learn war in Iran still ‘ongoing’ two weeks after they stopped checking
SECDEF_Nice
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God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war
Robin Berger
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Hegseth shocked to learn he also has to ‘find out’ after fucking around
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Strait of Hormuz remains open if you aren’t a bitch
BYOBooyah
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Department of War confirms ongoing war not a war
Tony
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Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps
Dirk Diggler
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Trump awarded Medal of Honor for locating a CW5
Paul J. O’Leary
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Marine dives on grenade to save Dow from falling below 50,000
Cat Astronaut
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Hegseth demands Cyberdyne remove guardrails from Skynet
W.E. Linde
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Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform
First CW5 in recorded history to arrive at own award ceremony in correct uniform, citation says
Adrian DeRyder
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Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours
Phil Cable
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Pacific not pivoted to yet again
Cat Astronaut
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Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran
SECDEF_Nice
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Trump promises largest quagmire operation in US history
Paul Sharpe
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State-of-the-art drone grounded due to cyan ink cartridge
Blondes Over Baghdad
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Pentagon reconsiders Harvard tuition assistance after learning Hegseth went there
Red Friday
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Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school
Paul Sharpe
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Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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VA benefits reduced to 9mm and bottle of bourbon
Gray Sea Liu
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Intel whistleblower accuses director of national intelligence of being Tulsi Gabbard
Officials deny claim, insist DNI ‘almost certainly a man’
W.E. Linde
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Hegseth saves billions by using green screen, pretending to invade countries
Red Friday
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Comic Sans named official font of Department of War
Gray Sea Liu
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Marine almost went finance but ‘would have punched a managing director’
Thunder Chicken
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ICE recruiters complain not enough candidates fail the ASVAB
Cobra Commander
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Navy admits it’s been making up enlisted ranks this whole time
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Opinion: My 'come and take them' tattoo was about my rights, not guns
BYOBooyah
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Vet T-shirt company releases ‘shall be infringed’ line
Red Friday
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Chief’s ‘sea stories’ include at least 4 felonies
Gray Sea Liu
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Trump beats Danish prime minister to death with Nobel peace prize
Paul Sharpe
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Fuck! You left your I.D. Card in your computer
One minor mistake triggers cascading operational collapse
Cobra Commander
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