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Freshly-acquitted Diddy gives your weekend safety brief
Gold diggers, Bieber, and malt liquor: Diddy’s safety brief hits different
 • 
Adrian DeRyder
2
8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
 • 
Blondes Over Baghdad
6
ICE deports Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps
Commandant vows swift justice, new Sergeant Major by close of business
 • 
Dark Laughter
9
Iran rebranded 'Pepsistan' in new Pepsi-Pentagon strategic partnership
U.S. military now powered by freedom, capitalism, and high-fructose corn syrup
 • 
The Ghost of Jimmy Carter
5
VA launches negative disability ratings to fill budget gaps
“They’re going to charge me for ‘significant reduction in BMI’ due to losing my leg,” one veteran said.
 • 
The Ghost of Jimmy Carter
9
Most Popular
View all
Pentagon to weed out extremists by banning Marine Corps
 • Bad Lawyer
14
ICE deports Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps
 • Dark Laughter
9
Hundreds dead after Air Force dining facility runs out of truffles, wagyu beef
 • Whiskey Fueled Tirade
7
77 years after D-Day, 97 year-old veteran finally awarded letter of reprimand
 • W.E. Linde
4
Subscribe to Duffel Blog today — before the DoD classifies it.
C-5 on Ramstein ramp spends entire World War III in timeout
Strategic airlift mission replaced by strategic pub crawl
 • 
Medal of Dishonor
5
This July 4th, remember to honor veterans who lost limbs last July 4th
Officials urge Americans to keep all limbs attached until at least July 5th
 • 
Adrian DeRyder
6
Hegseth renames USNS Harvey Milk to USNS James Earl Ray, but a different one
Says move is part of broader strategy to ‘de-gay the gray hulls.’
 • 
Red Friday
8
Noem visit to LA troops ends in gunfire, K-9 fatality
DHS Secretary insists dog was ‘out of regs and possibly liberal.’
 • 
Gray Sea Liu
7
Grandma just wants to know if that was you dropping bombs on Iran
Family sources confirm she also believes you’re in charge of NORAD.
 • 
W.E. Linde
4
US accidentally re-invades Iraq
Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray
 • 
Duffel Blog
6
Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine
Lost doctrine finally answers the age-old question: What if marching was fabulous?
 • 
Adrian DeRyder
3
Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes
After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.
 • 
Duffel Blog
4
Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday
Senior leaders cite “mission creep,” cosplay mishaps, and energy drinks as key factors in birthday parade debacle.
 • 
Robin Berger
4
Top posts
Pentagon to weed out extremists by banning Marine Corps
 • Bad Lawyer
14
ICE deports Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps
 • Dark Laughter
9
Hundreds dead after Air Force dining facility runs out of truffles, wagyu beef
 • Whiskey Fueled Tirade
7
77 years after D-Day, 97 year-old veteran finally awarded letter of reprimand
 • W.E. Linde
4
Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles
 • Task Force Football Bat
5
Duffel Blog
Duffel Blog
America’s Most Trusted Military News. Read in the Pentagon and by troops worldwide. “They’ve made a lot of fun of me and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.”—Secretary of Defense Mattis
Because laughing beats reenlisting.
After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed
“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”
 • 
Duffel Blog
3
Trump declines parade march, citing sudden bone spur flare-up
Insists he's ‘more injured than most heroes’ after learning parade route involves walking.
 • 
Duffel Blog
6
New Air Force One denied security clearance due to excessive foreign connections
Jet claims it was just being polite when Qatari royals “kept climbing inside.”
 • 
Bull Winkle
4
Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler
Army insists it’s “a completely different Hitler,” citing strong Union loyalty and bratwurst recipes.
 • 
Duffel Blog Staff
7
Basic bitch goes to Basic Training
Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).
 • 
Duffel Blog Staff
4
The latest from
Clay Beyersdorfer
Elon Musk awarded Bronze Star for accomplishing nothing
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Bad Lawyer
Applebee's to offer free meals only to WWI veterans
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Recommendations
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Navy

View all
Hegseth renames USNS Harvey Milk to USNS James Earl Ray, but a different one
Says move is part of broader strategy to ‘de-gay the gray hulls.’
 • 
Red Friday
8
Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes
After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.
 • 
Duffel Blog
4
After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed
“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”
 • 
Duffel Blog
3
US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
 • 
Thunder Chicken
5
Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors
The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.
 • 
Ghost Of Jimmy Carter
2
Dyslexic officer cuts IED training from EOD course
“Oops, I got my wires crossed again."
 • 
Duffel Blog
5
USS Clinton skipper claims he did not have international relations in South China Sea
“You should’ve seen what those beaches were wearing," the captain said.
 • 
Medal of Dishonor
8
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