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Level 1 Combatives-certified mechanic confident he would dominate Mayweather in a fight


FORT STEWART, Ga. — Master Sgt. Rollie Jenkins, a wheeled-vehicle mechanic by training, told his soldiers again today that he would destroy boxer Floyd “Money” Mayweather in a martial arts fight, sources confirmed.

After spending five days of training in the Army’s martial arts system, the Modern Army Combatives Program (MACP), Jenkins said he was ready to finish what Conor McGregor could not.

“Too easy too easy!” Jenkins said. “Floyd’s defensive by nature, he’s weak. I’d be aggressive, I’d get the violents [sic] of action goin’, and I’d achieve the clench on him. Boom.”

Defense analysts estimate that MACP training has caused more than 25,000 casualties to soldiers who thought they could “totally fuck that dude up” after achieving Level 1 certification.

To spur a possible matchup with Mayweather, Jenkins said he plans to release a YouTube challenge video, recorded vertically on his cell phone, that demonstrates his skills while calling Mayweather out.

“He ordered me to get choked out on video until I peed,” said Pfc. Tom Larson, one of Jenkins’ soldiers. “Twice.”

Still, Larson and some other soldiers are skeptical of Jenkins’ claims.

“That old fart hasn’t done PT since 9/11,” Larson said. “He took one intro course and thinks he’s a goddamned black belt now. He broke his ankle trying an arm-bar last month.”

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