Lonely CIF clerk holding out for soul mate in perfect condition
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Darren Johnson, ten-time employee of the year at the Fort Bragg Central Issue Facility, has had trouble finding Mrs. Right despite his numerous awards.
“I don’t have high standards for women, I just uphold the common standard better than other people,” Johnson told reporters while rejecting a soldier’s unused sleep mat at the CIF return counter.
“I know there’s someone out there for me who’s beautiful, rich, and educated who has never had a boyfriend,” said Johnson, who is 38 years old with a lot of credit card debt and a liquor problem.
Johnson’s longtime friend and fellow CIF clerk, Denice Bagley, supports Johnson’s idealism.
“Johnson provides the absolute best for soldiers, so he deserves the best in his private life too,” Bagley commented, while accepting a rucksack turn-in that Johnson had disqualified only the day before.
“That flawless person Darren’s looking for is out there somewhere searching for an average but highly selective man like him,” said Bagley. “He h…
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