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Author: Juice Box

Juice Box - if that is his real name - is an active duty Navy man, and YOU'RE WELCOME for his service.
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Speak up. You can’t hear yourself over other people’s ideas and input. LOUDER! Let these dweebs know who they’re dealing with. You are a Type-A motherfucker. A real man. You are your boss’s go-to guy. You score Outstanding on the PT test and starch your uniforms like you shine your shoes: EXCELLENTLY. You are not […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to top Pentagon officials, American military units around the globe have launched into inaction following news that radical militants of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) had seized several major Iraqi cities and were on the move towards Baghdad. “Each and every service member has been alerted to stay in their […]
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THE PACIFIC OCEAN – Steaming through an estimated 700,000 square kilometers of filth, United States Navy warships laid territorial claim today to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch – a big strategic win for the Red, White, and Blue, according to U.S. government officials. Emphasizing America’s profound cultural ties with garbage and refuse of all kinds, […]
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WASHINGTON — Confirming suspicions of Americans and Fox News contributors everywhere, Communist-in-Chief Barack Obama announced today that his plans to downsize the Defense Department in size and spending are singularly rooted in a heartfelt desire to allow the terrorists to win. “I’m doing this because I hate America,” Obama told reporters. “Plain and simple.” Indeed, […]
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