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Author: armydave

Dave is a communications wizard of the 4th degree. Having served in Iraq twice, he is pretty good at staring blankly at hesco baskets and getting exhaust samples.
PANTUCKET, Okla. — Local boy Dan Winters returned from Marine boot camp earlier this week, and according to numerous sources, he returned in the same emotionally stunted and immature condition he displayed the day he left for Parris Island. Indeed, local residents were surprised to learn that Winters’ behavior became noticeably more adolescent. Winters originally […]
WASHINGTON — Sir Orgasmotron Electrokisses IV has been appointed the Navy’s 56th Vice Admiral of Vice, and was sworn in at a small ceremony today in the Pentagon’s pleasure gardens during the new autumn moon amidst a roiling mass of bodies, flesh, and stink, sources confirmed. “Welcome brothers and sisters in sin,” oozed Orgasmotron while […]
AFGHANISTAN — A Special Forces soldier engaged in an ambush in eastern Afghanistan today mulled over the complex issues surrounding the current conflict and his own moral responsibility in it while shooting a young Taliban insurgent in the face, sources confirmed. The surreal nature of the confrontation triggered a philosophical dialogue within Staff Sgt. Emile Kyle, […]
PORTLAND, OR — Earlier today, local Army veteran Thomas Swanson made the mental decision to pick up running again, but not today. He will likely begin next Thursday morning, or maybe Saturday, depending on how early he wakes up. “I’ve really gotten out of shape, man,” said Swanson, a former paratrooper who used to sometimes […]

Point/Counterpoint: Navy SEALs

On December 27, 2013
The following is a point/counterpoint opinion article discussing the intense debate over the seals. Point: The United States Navy SEALs are the world’s premiere fighting force. Nay, we are the most efficient operators the world has ever known. I don’t say this with a negative spirit. By arguing this, I am not detracting from the […]
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