Zip-tied Somali pirates bet on how many SEAL memoirs they’ll be in
MOGADISHU, Somalia — Four zip-tied Somali nationals placed bets on how many Navy SEAL memoirs they would be featured in, according to three SEAL memoirs...
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Retired smart bomb takes laser-guided tour of Europe
PARIS — Walter Benson, a retired BOLT-117 laser-guided bomb, came crashing through the ceiling of the Louvre in Paris as part of a laser-guided tour...
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Former PT stud now lives in barn
CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — A retired 82nd Airborne soldier who was once known for having the fastest two-mile run time in his battalion currently lives...
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Private who snorted three MRE coffee packets during land-nav wanders onto the moon
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. – After snorting three MRE coffee packets during a land navigation exercise at Camp Shelby, Mississippi, Pvt. Dillen Roebuck rocketed from the...
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Chow hall coffee to contain caffeine starting in 2019, officials say
THE PENTAGON — Coffee served on U.S. military bases worldwide will finally include caffeine beginning in January of 2019, according to Gen. Joseph Dunford, Chairman...
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ISIS soldier uploads YouTube rant about ‘stolen martyrdom’ from cab of VBIED
ERBIL, Kurdistan Region – ISIS soldier Ibraheem Lakdim has uploaded a video to his YouTube channel about ‘stolen martyrdom’ from the cab of a truck...
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US Olympic table tennis team deploys to Kuwait to train with ‘best of the best’
KUWAIT CITY — The US Olympic table tennis team has been training at a US military encampment in Kuwait where “the best ping-pong players in...
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West Point grad who can’t change own tire feels called to politics
NEW YORK — Former US Army Capt. Taylor McKessen said today that he “felt called to further service to the nation as an elected representative”...
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Delta Force operation routed around rare butterfly habitat
MANBIJ, Syria — A raid by the U.S. Army’s secretive Delta Force was nearly aborted when an operator discovered endangered Apollo Swallowtail butterflies, sources confirmed...
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Private in formation unaware enormous dick drawn on his face
FORT HOOD, Texas — Army Pvt. Anthony Giorodano has been standing at ease in formation this morning for more than 23 minutes unaware that there...
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National Guard Soldier keeps saying she’s in the Army
BENTONVILLE, Ark. — A National Guard soldier tried to repeatedly claim that she was in the Army last night, according to a number of witnesses...
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ISIS Recruit stuffs goat into amnesty box
MAYADEEN, Syria — ISIS recruit Abdul Mourad stuffed a live goat into an amnesty box early yesterday morning, sources familiar with the incident say. The...
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Army to issue updated chemical protective suits for toxic command climates
THE PENTAGON — The U.S. Army will begin issuing updated protective gear for soldiers in direct contact with toxic command climates, Army Chief of Staff...
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Mattis is considering a Pentagon cell phone ban after someone screen-shotted his racy Snaps
THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis is considering banning cell phones in the Pentagon after two of his shirtless selfies were screen-shotted by various...
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Opinion: My PT score is just, like, your opinion, man
The following is an op-ed written by that guy in 3rd Squad. Yooooooooooo! My fuckin’ dude! What is UP, bro? I haven’t seen you in...
