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Author: Howie

Thadmiral for president.
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NEW LONDON, Conn. — A group of 65 Coast Guard Academy cadets enlisted this morning in lieu of accepting their commissions as officers, Duffel Blog has learned. The cadets stated that they took action to avoid sitting through President Trump’s graduation speech later today. “I’d much rather endure a few years of nicotine addiction and […]
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WASHINGTON – Prior service reenlistments spiked sharply over the past week after federal financial aid was revoked for students enrolled at ITT Technical Institutes, the Pentagon announced. At ITT campuses across the country, veterans leveraged the GI Bill to earn their degrees in cutting-edge fields such as VCR Repair, Daytime TV Marketing Algorithms, and Wood shop. “The […]
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SOUTH CHINA SEA – A spokesman for USS Port Royal (CG 73) reported the death of Executive Officer Cdr. Mark George today, after he was executed on the flight deck of the guided missile cruiser. George was sentenced to death by his commanding officer, Capt. Sherman Foley, after the ship received unfavorable results on its annual command climate survey, known as the […]
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