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Author: Jack S. McQuack

Jack S. McQuack is not in control of his life. He writes for Duffel Blog to compensate for not dying in a blaze of glory in some third-world hellhole. In his spare time he enjoys eating until he hates himself and has a mean case of prostatitis.
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WATERFORD, Mich. — As millions of freedom-loving Americans anxiously await Independence Day and the fireworks that celebrate it, veterans like Greg Trotter are reportedly busy gearing up to fight his service dog over the best hiding places in his three bedroom Waterford home. “I know that selfish fleabag will go straight for the choice places, […]
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RAQQA, Syria — It’s March in Syria, and according to reporters on the ground, the air is palpable with exactly two things: The blast waves from 500-pound bombs, and the anticipation of Syria’s unveiling of its annual “March Sadness” bracket. “I have been looking forward to this since last year when ‘US Led Coalition’ didn’t even make it […]
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CLARKSTON, Mich. — While US advisers slog their way across northern Iraq with sub-standard Iraqi forces and US troops once again deploy to the region, some veterans are reflecting on their own fighting of an un-winnable war against an ambiguous enemy they, unwittingly or otherwise, helped create. “Yes, I can grow a beard, start my own t-shirt, coffee, flip-flop, […]
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STERLING HEIGHTS, Mich. — Walgreens was significantly underbid on a Tricare prescription contract by metro Detroit drug dealer and amateur porn star Greg ‘Frog Dog’ Wilkins to the tune of $325 million, sources confirmed. The shocking turn of events comes on the heels of TriCare’s jettison of incumbent drug provider CVS, which was dropped weeks ago […]
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