Navy SEAL: The best way to tell people you’re a Navy SEAL is to tell them
NORFOLK, Va. — Navy SEALs, one of America’s most iconic special operations forces, are renowned for their expertise, prowess, and the shroud of secrecy surrounding...
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Honorary Chief Bill Cosby forced to resign with O-5 pension and benefits
THE PENTAGON — Embattled Hollywood icon and pudding pop aficionado Bill Cosby will be forced to resign at the pay-grade of O-5, reflecting his many...
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Policeman very impressed by drunk driver’s ‘I Served’ bumper sticker
STAFFORD COUNTY, Va. — Sheriff’s Deputy Beau Quarles says he was “really impressed” with a local veteran’s “I served” bumper sticker, later calling it “humbling,”...
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‘Eternal Flaming Wheelbarrow Full of Cash’ picked as Global War On Terror Memorial
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Park Service has announced the selection of a design called The Eternal Flaming Wheelbarrow Of Cash as a memorial to...
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Report: Unlicensed Private in driver’s seat ‘pretty sure’ he’s got this
CAMP MCCRADY, S.C. — An Army Reservist on his first annual training told fellow soldiers he’s “pretty sure” this will be easy, after he was...
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Veterans group calls on VA to provide ‘thank you for your service’ dogs
ARLINGTON, Va. — A new veterans’ advocacy group is calling on the Department of Veterans Affairs to fund ‘thank you for your service’ dogs for...
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Veteran gets job helping veterans find jobs helping veterans find jobs
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — After a months-long job search following his separation from active duty, former Army Sgt. Curran Mallard has finally been offered a dream...
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Report: Oh fuck, here comes the Chaplain
YOUR LOCATION — Capt. Alan Michaels, the Battalion Chaplain, is on a direct course for your immediate gaggle of soldiers, leaving a trail of dead...
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Bowe Bergdahl wanders off during court-martial
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Bowe Bergdahl, the Army sergeant facing charges of desertion, walked out of a military courtroom during a pre-trial hearing Monday and...
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US Air Force turns 70; looks forward to retirement in spring
THE PENTAGON — Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David Goldfein revealed during the service’s 70th birthday party today that the service was planning to...
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Navy considers giving up the ship
NORFOLK, Va. — In what would be a stunning break from over two centuries of Naval tradition, the U.S. Navy has revealed it is currently weighing the...
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Disgruntled DoD contractor leaks highly insensitive data
THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense has confirmed the authenticity of the latest round of documents published by anti-secrecy website WikiLeaks as highly-insensitive information...
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Joint Base Andrews on lockdown over reports of rockets, explosions in sky
JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Md. — Joint Base Andrews is back under security lockdown tonight, following numerous unconfirmed reports of rockets and explosions in the sky throughout...
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Hey, it’s me, your recurring nightmares
INSIDE YOUR HEAD — Sorry to wake you. I just wanted to remind you, don’t forget your rifle before you go out on patrol. Wait,...
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Nation anxiously waiting out yet another veteran-oriented holiday
WASHINGTON — This Memorial Day weekend, the nation’s civilians are reporting record levels of anxiety, fearful that any misstep could ignite a wave of veteran outrage, according to...
