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Author: The Shammer

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YOUR HOMETOWN — An agent of the deep state working undercover with the NSA has expressed mixed feelings toward the conspiracy theories you post online. Marcus Wolfe — a signals intelligence analyst charged by the covert establishment with monitoring your communications — has both laughed himself to tears and punched the air in rage due […]
SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you’re fired, sources confirmed today. Titled Counterinsurgency, the debut video game from Seattle-based Green Wood Studios breaks new ground by pulling players into a protracted campaign mode with virtually no way to win. During this time, […]
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — A newly-obtained Pentagon memo has revealed that the military is working to build a Symmetric Warfare Group, sources confirmed today. The Department of Defense has stood up a multi-service cadre at Fort Bragg, North Carolina with the stated purpose of devising tactics, techniques, and procedures for battling militaries whose strength is […]
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — A decorated US Marine Corps Scout Sniper on his seventh deployment has set a military-wide record for the most confirmed divorces, sources confirmed today. Staff Sgt. Jeremy Hoffman, who is deployed in support of Operation Inherent Resolve, received his divorce certificate today in the mail, marking the outstanding achievement of having personally […]
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